Something I wrote about the time between becoming a Christian and now.

In that time we have highs and lows,
We wonder what, if anything, goes,

We continue to knock, to seek and to wonder,
Wishing God's voice would sound like thunder,

And always we come back before God,
kneeling before his majesty's throne.

Scared

After rereading 'Sacred' I thought it's anagram of 'scared' would make an equally good word for the start of the first three verses.

Scared hope,
bound blindly in me,

Scared faith,
insecure and trembling,

Scared love,
hidden within,

Scared joy,
fragile and brittle,

Scared peace,
Surrounded by rage,

Scared future,
impossible to predict.

Fear grips us. Fear binds us. Fear holds us down. Fear suffocates.

In 1 John 4 it says, 'perfect love drives out fear.'

Do you believe this to be the case? If so, are you living it? If not, why not?

Sacred

Sacred hope,
bound blindly in me,

Sacred faith,
insecure and trembling,

Sacred love,
hidden within,

Sacred Lord,
mysterious warrior,

Sacred God,
untameable creator,

Sacred Christ,
risen redeemer,

Sacred.

Why can't love be easy?

Why can't love be easy?
Why can't love be free?
Why must it cost your life?
Why must is cause such strife?

Where were you when I called?
Where were you when I cried?
Why did you let me fall?
The heart in me died.

How much more can I give?
How much more can I pour out?
How much longer can I live?
Can I really go without?

Must I stand here all alone?
Must I weep cold tears at night?
Are all my chances really blown?
Is my future dark or bright?

New Title

I was told my title was not that great, so based on consumer feedback I have changed it. I have named this blog 'Insane Messenger' because I hope I give messages that challenge and inspire, as well as provoke thought and sometimes create a smile.

Expect Nothing Back

Expect nothing back,
Then your life will be a flowing river,
a bubbling stream of happiness,
Not begrudging,
Not belittling,
Only giving,
Flowing down the mountain of life,
Encompassing more and more as you go,
Allowing others to flow into you when they are able,
But not expecting them too,
Expect nothing back.

A letter to God

God, I have not spoken to you in a while. I seem to have forgotten your love. I have tried to live for you, without communicating with you. You called me to live this life, but it is hard to do. I know I should take up my cross, but where are the miracles to go with it? Where is your hand in my life? I need to return to you, give my life back to you. Let me return to your arms, and enjoy your embrace once more. Give me back my heart for you, for serving at your will. Give me renewed passion, renewed drive and renewed energy. Let me be yours. Let me be yours. Let me be yours.

Amen

3WW: A life of integrity

3WW: modify obey veil

I am called to obey,

to take up my cross and follow,

to modify my behaviour,

truly.

I am called to learn,

to take up my calling and go,

to build others up,

truly,

If I simply veil my hidden thoughts,

And have two lives,

How can I follow?

How can I go?

Truly

I must live with integrity,

I must live with real love,

Value all around me,

Bow before the King.

Doubted

Waves of doubt,
Come crashing down,
On the rock,
Of certainty,
Blemished by fear,
Captured by speculation,

I am not free to choose,
I am bound by mistrust,
I am expected to stand,
But it is not believed.

3 WW Beauty or Objectivity?

I recently read The Abolition of Man by CS Lewis. In it Lewis supposes that if humanity continues to try to conquer nature, to objectify beauty and to attempt to work out the sacred we will lose, through the process, the essence of our humanity. Lewis bases all of this on the existence of the Tao. The Tao is essentially an absolute moral code which we can choose to live within or to step outside and observe dispassionately. I think he may have a point, and, fortunately, I think we may be returning to an appreciation of things because we cannot understand them, rather than a preference for understanding. For example, I think most adults will look at the stars, or over the plains of a Savannah and permit themselves to stand in wonder rather than to objectively consider the working of photosynthesis, of the ecosystem, or of the exploding gases in the universe. Humanity possesses the ability to amaze itself with wonderful paintings, or exquisite compositions of symphony, or a singing voice more stunning than a lark’s. Yet, Lewis would argue, this state is frail if we decide to lose our sense of the bigger picture, of the sense of something pervading even our biggest achievements that is not there to be understood, but there, instead, to be mysterious and beautiful.

Questions

Why must we forever be dissatisfied? Why can we not remember that last night we snuggled into a bed in a room with a roof? Why do we complain that our friends are not good enough? Why do we say that our bodies aren't beautiful? Why do we ceaselessly spiral in a world of consumer unhappiness? Why do we go with the flow even when the flow is saturated with uncaring? What happened to us that we do not care for the orphan in Africa? What happened to us that we are unperturbed by war in Afghanistan? Why do we forget them? Why do we remember only the bravery of our soldiers? What about the bravery of theirs? What about their valiance and courage? What about their martyrdom? Is it really martyrdom? Where did those passionate enough to die for mercy go? Did they all die so quickly? Did their deaths not inspire us to sacrifice ourselves to a greater cause? Is there a greater cause? Does it matter if there is a greater cause? Why? Why have I criticised dissatisfaction with the world through dissatisfied questions? Is hypocrisy a way forward?